Since we screwed you over last Thursday, we’re doing two Top 5′s this week. Tomorrow, we rank the Top 5 mascots of South Florida sports.
If you could have a drink with any celebrity with Miami ties who would it be? LeBron James is too obvious of an answer, let him spend some time with his family. Narrowly missing the cut is WQAM’s Joe Rose, who often leaves the office bathroom at 8:00 a.m. screaming “It burns, it BURNS, make it STOP!” That’s a character, that one.
5. Jeffrey Loria, Marlins “Owner”
Stop shouting and hear me out, damn it.
We go to one of the swankiest restaurants on Miami Beach — like Prime One Twelve — and order a bottle of 1907 Heidsieck, which apparently is like the most expensive wine in the world having once sold for $275,000. Then I take the bottle to the face, take a “pee-pee” break and never return, leaving our “owner” with the bill.
Not sure if that’s worse than his email inbox, though.
4. Rick Ross, Rapper
Though Ross was born in Mississippi, he was raised in Miami and attended Miami Carol City High.
I would ask him questions like, “how many items can you hide in your beard at once?” or depending on how the evening is going, “have you ever accidentally killed a woman mid coitis?”
3. Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson, Actor/Wrestler
Dwayne Douglas Johnson was raised in California, but was also a defensive lineman on the Miami Hurricanes’ 1991 national championship team. The wrestler/actor has earned roughly $58 million this year.
He seems like a cool dude, and has an interesting connection to many different worlds — sports, acting, and wrestling.
2. Eva Mendes, Actress
The stunning actress/model/singer/designer was born in Miami.
Name me one dude who didn’t develop a crush on her after seeing Hitch. Don’t lie, you’ve seen that thing 12 times. And if you haven’t seen We Own the Night, I highly recommend not seeing it, but checking her out in this NSFW-ish video.
1. Pat Riley, Immortal
All he does is win.
He’s become a Miami deity. Forever overshadowing his tenure as a player or coach, will be the time he built a dynasty in ONE summer and the time he told Danny Ainge to “shut the fu*k up.” And if this Beasley Experiment pans out, I will have no words.
I wonder what Pat’s poison is? Scotch, right? Or is it something more exotic, something we’ve probably never even heard of that hasn’t been released to normal human beings yet?